My Guide to Maturity

We all have our own standards on determining whether we’re maturing or not. Open-mindedness, being career-oriented, and being more responsible are just few of those things that are always on the list so I won’t include those on this guide. I’m not talking by experience, though, I’m only 18 for kryssakes! This seven-item guide will just be a product of watching the adults around me, watching TV, and reading books. Anything that you will be reading from now on need not be true, it’s just a twisted standard from my twisted mind. And most likely, it’ll be an almost offensive stereotype of old people.

1. Own a planner.
    You need not write consistently on your first year, and doodles are still acceptable. Just keep on buying one every year, sooner or later, it will be filled with tedious appointments that writing on it won’t be exciting anymore.

2. Drop the smileys and the excessive “Haha”‘s.
    Dude, everyone knows that when you’re well off on your 40s, smileys are so uncool. Smileys are so 15 years ago! I mean, I’m 18 and I already hear some of my friends say, “Huma-haha-smiley face ka pa rin?!”

3. Email everyone.
    Based on the books I’ve read, emailing is an essential key to being grown up. Grown ups don’t do chat, they email each other. Or maybe it’s because I don’t really check when the books I’m reading got published.

4. The shorter your replies, the more mature you are.
    “K c u.” Because you’re just too busy to give a full-worded reply! You should see my conversations with my dad. 3-sentenced texts and I usually just get “K luv u”‘s. Grown ups. And they say we’re ungrateful.

5. Buy a bluetooth headset.
    Again, dude, everyone knows that bluetooth headsets are the ultimate gadget for looking being mature! Just imagine it, me running around New York City saying, “Sorry, I’m running late! The meeting I had went a little behind schedule. I’m already in the cab. Be there in 15!”

6. ALWAYS go to the appliance store first when in malls.
    TRUFAX. Based on observing parents.

7. Lastly, get a collection of anecdotes and tell and retell everyone about them.
    The anecdote that gets retold the most wins!

Got anything to add?

xx,
V

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