Aren’t you scared of growing up?

When I was about to turn 18, I was ecstatic! Of course, the upcoming party did contribute a lot to the excitement, but more to that, I was excited to finally reach that point in my life wherein my thoughts matter, my decisions are made by me, and honestly, the fact that I can vote thrilled me.

But now that I think of it, I’m scared of growing up more than anything else. I wouldn’t want to be one of those adults that look as if they’re pre-programmed. Watching them, it’s like they have lost their passion for everything. Feeding their families becomes top priority, to the point that having fun is not an option. And the number one rule is, rationalization and practicality before emotions.

I don’t want to become that person. I know there are a handful of adults who are responsible and at the same time still have that touch of youth in them, so I’m just hoping that I’d end up that way. I wouldn’t want to grow up as someone I have despised as a kid. I wouldn’t want to be 80, looking back at my life, and realize that I turned into a robot.

Let this serve as a letter to my 40-year-old self. Hi! It’s still my dream to be insanely rich and successful but please don’t lose sight of the things you used to hold important. Have fun, continue writing about the random thoughts in your head, give our children the fair freedom that you didn’t get as a kid. I’m not saying you should be an irresponsible mother, ha! Just be fair to our children. Don’t let fear of them making mistakes and getting hurt cloud your judgment, they need that to grow. Actually, I just have one advice for you, never forget The Little Prince.

And 40-year-old me, if you’re not with Joel na by this time, I’m gonna kill you.